My Alison

I have the coolest daughter in all of the world. My Alison is 17 years old and is finding her way in this world. Her beauty continues to grow and glow (although I do have to say I don't like that thing in her nose)

She has struggled and I'd be a liar if I tried to tell anyone that the past 3 years have been easy. Alison has gone from despising me, to finally liking me again. And through all this, I've loved my Alison.

She has been my Alison her entire life. Most people refer to their children by their first name, but I've almost always referred to her as my Alison. It started when she was born. I would talk to my Aunt Dottie and Uncle George about her, and as they have an Alison of their own, I added the my in front of Alison to differentiate mine from theirs. But it stuck. She's always been my Alison. And from there, her older brother became my Josh.

Some people refer generically to their kids as 'the kids' and I've always referred to mine as my kids. I'm proud of my kids. Same thing. But it started with my Alison.

The Alma D

This is what I did today:

Mark paddled me around on Lake Tahoe in the Alma D, which is the courting canoe he had made just for me. And he named it in honor of my Aunt Dottie, who's name was Alma Dorothy.

According to Babynames.com

The meaning of the name Alma is Nourishing
The origin of the name Alma is Latin
Notes:Also Spanish for soul

Back in the dark ages when I hosted online chats, I used the name Alma, in honor of my Aunt who will always nourish my soul.

So anyway, there is my day. Oh, and here's the Alma D on our back lawn:

Donating Blood

I am at the United Blood Center in Reno today donating platelets. I like to come every two weeks (plaetlets replenish themselves in 24 hours) but I haven't been here since June. :-( I sit here from 90 minutes to 2 hours. That's what it takes to draw, spin the platelets out and return the rest of my blood. It takes the longest if my count was high enough to give a double unit. Today will only be a single.

My reason for sitting here so long is that my platelets are given to people who are undergoing chemotherapy. My platelets help them feel better. Someone else gave their time and platelets for my Aunt Dottie. My time means nothing when I know I've helped improve the quality of someone elses day, particularly when they may not have much quality in their life.

Today the draw machine was not liking me so they had quit early - only 45 min today.

9-25-08

One of my favorite quotes:

Positive Post Tuesday

Today I would like to recognize my husband Mark in my Positive Post. Mark and I have been married for 5 years (two months and 9 days, but who's counting) but our story began in September twenty six years ago (that's 1981 if you hate Math as much as I do). We were High School sweethearts.

Rather than take you through each of those years, the lyrics to Alanis Morissette's Head Over Feet cover some of what is wonderful about Mark, my husband and best friend (with my notes) :

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again (You still state your case time and again)
I thought about it (and I think about it and appreciate it!)

You treat me like I'm a princess (I am The Diana)
I'm not used to liking that (still)
You ask how my day was (and ask how you can make it better)

You've already won me over in spite of me (in spite of all the times I've pushed you away)
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet (and I want to fall over and over again, for the rest of my life)
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for (you took me on)
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things (Like Alison said "he loves you like no one else ever has)
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

I love you Mark.

Important To Remember

What Is It??

Ya know, I go about my days on a pretty even keel. Most days. Or so I'd like to think. Then my boat gets rocked. Danny (a friend) has said that I don't seem to have a lot to stressed out over, and he's got a point. After I rattled off the list of this that and the other things that have gone on since February, he said "Oh, I guess maybe you do. But you sure don't appear to be too stressed out most the time." That would be because I do a pretty darned good job of stuffing stuff. Which is another problem all together.

Here I'd just gotten my boat all back on even keel again, and it got rocked again. But, in this I do know, I'll be fine and it will all even out again. I've got my mind made up and His help. But then I go to a bible study and my boat gets rocked again. There are select few in my life that witness my weakness. That's why Danny hasn't seen.

What is it with that? Why is it that I find my balance, only to be rocked again? Why did I go to that bible study, why was that the topic? He knows my weakness, He knows my anxiety. And He didn't keep me from going. I wanted to go. But why was that the topic?

Have to think on that one.

Threes

Have you ever heard that things come in three's? What is it about that? Is there a saying that good things come in threes? I think I said something earlier today to a friend about having to be SMACKED upside the head a few times before I "get" some things.

I've heard this scripture quote three times recently, and I'm supposed to pay attention:

First time I heard it, or read it actually, was several months ago. Someone sent the passage to me it to me in a text message and I looked it up myself. This was before I'd accepted the gift, and still, I found it to be very comforting. That was months ago.

Almost two weeks ago, while driving to my internet free vacation I was listening to a sermon from my friends church (the Discovering your Diving Destiny one) and Pastor Pete mentioned this passage as one of his favorites. Volume on my iPod was too low for this sermon so I had a hard time hearing, and Pastor Pete read/spoke through it very quickly. I ran the iPod back to listen again, because I'd thought I'd heard something familiar. Then I paused and opened my bible to find the passage. Yes, it was what I'd read before.

Then today at work I was talking about it, telling how I'd listened to the sermon and that I'd recognized the passage from a few months ago when it had been shared with me.

The third instance of coming across the passage was after I came home from work (after having worked only 7 hours, as demanded by my boss). I was reading through some of Brody Harper's Positive Post Tuesday links. I came across this scripture again on Dale and Linny's blog.

Third time's a charm. Jeremiah 29:11, I'm paying attention now.

Positive Post Tuesday

I have what everyone wants from their job. I enjoy what I do, and the company I work for is amazing. Well, saying the company really minimizes how amazing it is, because the company is my boss, Stoney deGeyter. It's hard for me to explain very well all the things it is about him that makes him such a great person but I'll try.

I work my tail off, have all my life in any job I've ever had. And yet only in this job have I been recognized for my efforts. Putting in fifty to sixty hours a week is not uncommon for me. I've had jobs where I work hard like this, and when something comes up (say an appointment or something), I've had to use my 'earned' paid time off to take care of my personal business. Fair enough.

But in this job, I put in that time, and when something comes up, not even medically related, but say, maybe a friend is in town and I'm going to use some of my PTO to spend time with her. I put in for the time off at work, and Stoney tells me, "Take it on the company. You've worked enough extra hours, don't use PTO." Are you kidding me? did he really say that? Yes he did.

My sister lives in the lovely land of Hawaii, Stoney allowed for me to visit her and work from her house, paid. Because he trusts that I am going to get my work done and I'm not taking advantage of his generosity.

Then I go on a real internet free vacation for five days. First day back on the job I am told "Diana, you work too much. You're not allowed to work more than eight hours per day this week." "All week" I whine? And since I whined, he tells me that I'm not allowed to work more than seven hours per day all week.

That was yesterday, so I'm sitting home in my jammies today, jamming out a Positive Post to link back to Brody Harper's Positive Post Tuesday... Stoney, you're one hell of a guy to work for, and I thank God that I do!

[EDITED]
I forgot to add this most important piece: Every time Stoney demonstrates his appreciation for my work and efforts, I want to work that much harder for him. My effort to demonstrate my appreciation for his acknowledging my efforts.

Positive Post Tuesday (a little late)

So my blog post is a wee late, which is what happens when you go on vacation for a week. An INTERNET FREE vacation no less. Not only internet free, but electricity free (and running water free ... hello long drop). I can't say electronic free because I did have my ipod (which, by the end of the week was on ration so that the battery would last until I could get back to civilization and charge it) to listen to music. We were in the Snowy Range Mountains, Medicine Bow National Forest of WYOMING, which made being internet free okay:


With no distraction of the internet (or even cell phone coverage to text people), I was left with only my husband and God to talk with. It was a glorious week of strengthening both relationships. We were at our family cabin, at elevation 10,400 feet. We went on a hike (passing the lake in the image above) and according to my gps (I really have a hard time being electronic gadget free), the highest elevation we hiked over was 11,075ft. You can't get much closer to God than that now can you?

There is a stream very much like this one, right near the cabin, and we've walked/hiked past this very stream on previous visits.



We kept waiting and hoping to see the moose that are often seen in the area, but alas we weren't so lucky. We did see one deer though, off in the distance. The Monday and Tuesday we were up there were gorgeous ... clear sunshiny days. Positive Post Tuesday found me hiking past the lake above - what a day. Wednesday brought a full day of rain and great appreciation for our efforts of installing the new wood stove on Monday. Thursday morning brought more rain - we packed up and headed back to civilization (Laramie, WY). My husband went back up to the cabin with his Dad and found snow covering the ground. It seems we made a good call to come down from the mountains. But that's my Positive Post for this week!

Life Is Good

No Wasted Seeds

Funny how you can recognize a theme, even if you're not really paying attention. And yet, in this I am paying attention. When I went to visit my sister, I listened to my ipod on the plane. I started a journal at that point, because I heard the message that the music, that God, was repeating over and over. I wasn't paying attention then, but when I did notice, I sat up and paid attention. The message then was that I needed to surrender my life - I heard that message in song after song. And I have.

Now - and now I am paying attention, and what is the new message that I'm hearing/seeing/reading? It's all about seeds, planting and growth. My very first post was the Parable of the Sower - where I posted about people (me) being in different places at different times. I suggested that many seed was wasted on me when I wasn't ready. Ahhh, but no, I am seeing different now.

In my devotional yesterday, the title was "God Planted A Garden ... There He Put The Man Whom He Had Formed." And yesterday I listened to a sermon from Crosswinds, and my takeaway that is relevant to this post, is a message from Genesis. We were created from earth, created for His purpose. My devotional this morning is a continuation from yesterday, titled the same. Here is a quote: ... God's got some stuff planted that you haven't seen or experienced. You're still becoming what He planted" Four instances, same subject. Earth, soil, seeds, growth.

I love hearing, recognizing and understanding what is being shown. You're not the same person you'll be in six months, or six years from now ... You have to have faith, and patience otherwise you'll miss what God has for you.So all those seeds, maybe not so wasted eh?

I Found It!

Wow - I went looking for the "Life Soundtrack" list of favorites and I found it. It only covers the past 10 years or so, although there are a couple of songs from further back. The favorites list is so old though, most of the links are dead now. Oh well, I can always find them again:



The meanings of some songs change with time too. Here's my list and the era from my life for which they are relevant:
Chuck's Songs
Kenny Logins - Danny's Song When we had Josh, this was relevant

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one
And we've just begun, I think I'm gonna have a son ...
And even though we ain't got money
I'm so in love with ya honey
Everything bring a chain of lo-o-o-o-ve

Crosby Stills Nash and Young - Our House When we moved into our house, although we only had one cat

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house.
With two cats in the yard,
Life used to be so hard,
Now everything is easy 'cause of you.

We really had been in love. Before everything fell apart.

Sarah McLachlan - Angel Everytime I hear this, I think of Chuck

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You and again

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Peter Gabriel - I Grieve Wow, can't even explain this one, you'll have to read the lyrics yourself because it's the whole song.

Mark's songs
Andrew Gold - Thank You for Being A Friend - This one was his during the years before Chuck died.
Alanis Morrisette - Head Over Feet - This one was and is always Mark's song

You've already won me over in spite of me

And now this post gets cut short because it is so long already and I'll continue with the rest of Mark's songs ...

is it just me?

Have you noticed that music is a powerful mood enhancer? I can listen to music and get pumped up and happy over it - or I can listen to music and it will bring me down into the pits. I think it does depend somewhat on the mood to begin with. If the mood is upbeat and cheerful, cheerful and upbeat music only enhances that feeling. If you're already crabby, irritated and annoyed, depressing music can really push you deeper.

That being said, I can be in a foul mood, and if I listen to upbeat music, my mood can be transformed. Somehow (thankfully) it doesn't seem to work in reverse.

Just looking over my iTunes, let's take a look at what I have, and I'll tell you what era from my life it reminds me of (taking into account that most of the music in my iTunes is recent, because all my Cd's were stolen so I am rebuilding)

Simon & Garfunkel They can bring me back to Junior High, further too but most specifically 8th grade. I am a Rock reminds me of listening to the song over and over again, using the lyrics to build myself up a protective wall.

I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

In 8th grade, we had moved from Laramie to Portland OR, where I had no friends and needed the strength of believing I didn't need friends. HA foolish girl.

From Tenth grade but we lived in Laramie. Pink Floyd The Wall. I listened to this with head phones on. Pretty much the whole album, nothing to quote, except that I was breaking through the wall.

Bryan Adams Cuts Like a Knife - He came along at a turning point in my life, just about the time that I was breaking up with Mark and moving out on my own.

Dire Straits Brothers in Arms - This album was new out when Chuck and I were packing up to move on to Graduate school ... the song Why Worry was what Chuck kept telling me

I'll chase away those restless fears
That turn your blue skies into grey
Why worry, there should be laughter after the pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now

I could continue this, and maybe I will, because music moves me. Always has. I have music from every era in my life. At one time I had a "favorite places" saved as "My life Sound Track." ... should go dig that up, I know I have it on a DVD backup somewhere.