What Is It??

Ya know, I go about my days on a pretty even keel. Most days. Or so I'd like to think. Then my boat gets rocked. Danny (a friend) has said that I don't seem to have a lot to stressed out over, and he's got a point. After I rattled off the list of this that and the other things that have gone on since February, he said "Oh, I guess maybe you do. But you sure don't appear to be too stressed out most the time." That would be because I do a pretty darned good job of stuffing stuff. Which is another problem all together.

Here I'd just gotten my boat all back on even keel again, and it got rocked again. But, in this I do know, I'll be fine and it will all even out again. I've got my mind made up and His help. But then I go to a bible study and my boat gets rocked again. There are select few in my life that witness my weakness. That's why Danny hasn't seen.

What is it with that? Why is it that I find my balance, only to be rocked again? Why did I go to that bible study, why was that the topic? He knows my weakness, He knows my anxiety. And He didn't keep me from going. I wanted to go. But why was that the topic?

Have to think on that one.

Threes

Have you ever heard that things come in three's? What is it about that? Is there a saying that good things come in threes? I think I said something earlier today to a friend about having to be SMACKED upside the head a few times before I "get" some things.

I've heard this scripture quote three times recently, and I'm supposed to pay attention:

First time I heard it, or read it actually, was several months ago. Someone sent the passage to me it to me in a text message and I looked it up myself. This was before I'd accepted the gift, and still, I found it to be very comforting. That was months ago.

Almost two weeks ago, while driving to my internet free vacation I was listening to a sermon from my friends church (the Discovering your Diving Destiny one) and Pastor Pete mentioned this passage as one of his favorites. Volume on my iPod was too low for this sermon so I had a hard time hearing, and Pastor Pete read/spoke through it very quickly. I ran the iPod back to listen again, because I'd thought I'd heard something familiar. Then I paused and opened my bible to find the passage. Yes, it was what I'd read before.

Then today at work I was talking about it, telling how I'd listened to the sermon and that I'd recognized the passage from a few months ago when it had been shared with me.

The third instance of coming across the passage was after I came home from work (after having worked only 7 hours, as demanded by my boss). I was reading through some of Brody Harper's Positive Post Tuesday links. I came across this scripture again on Dale and Linny's blog.

Third time's a charm. Jeremiah 29:11, I'm paying attention now.

Positive Post Tuesday

I have what everyone wants from their job. I enjoy what I do, and the company I work for is amazing. Well, saying the company really minimizes how amazing it is, because the company is my boss, Stoney deGeyter. It's hard for me to explain very well all the things it is about him that makes him such a great person but I'll try.

I work my tail off, have all my life in any job I've ever had. And yet only in this job have I been recognized for my efforts. Putting in fifty to sixty hours a week is not uncommon for me. I've had jobs where I work hard like this, and when something comes up (say an appointment or something), I've had to use my 'earned' paid time off to take care of my personal business. Fair enough.

But in this job, I put in that time, and when something comes up, not even medically related, but say, maybe a friend is in town and I'm going to use some of my PTO to spend time with her. I put in for the time off at work, and Stoney tells me, "Take it on the company. You've worked enough extra hours, don't use PTO." Are you kidding me? did he really say that? Yes he did.

My sister lives in the lovely land of Hawaii, Stoney allowed for me to visit her and work from her house, paid. Because he trusts that I am going to get my work done and I'm not taking advantage of his generosity.

Then I go on a real internet free vacation for five days. First day back on the job I am told "Diana, you work too much. You're not allowed to work more than eight hours per day this week." "All week" I whine? And since I whined, he tells me that I'm not allowed to work more than seven hours per day all week.

That was yesterday, so I'm sitting home in my jammies today, jamming out a Positive Post to link back to Brody Harper's Positive Post Tuesday... Stoney, you're one hell of a guy to work for, and I thank God that I do!

[EDITED]
I forgot to add this most important piece: Every time Stoney demonstrates his appreciation for my work and efforts, I want to work that much harder for him. My effort to demonstrate my appreciation for his acknowledging my efforts.

Positive Post Tuesday (a little late)

So my blog post is a wee late, which is what happens when you go on vacation for a week. An INTERNET FREE vacation no less. Not only internet free, but electricity free (and running water free ... hello long drop). I can't say electronic free because I did have my ipod (which, by the end of the week was on ration so that the battery would last until I could get back to civilization and charge it) to listen to music. We were in the Snowy Range Mountains, Medicine Bow National Forest of WYOMING, which made being internet free okay:


With no distraction of the internet (or even cell phone coverage to text people), I was left with only my husband and God to talk with. It was a glorious week of strengthening both relationships. We were at our family cabin, at elevation 10,400 feet. We went on a hike (passing the lake in the image above) and according to my gps (I really have a hard time being electronic gadget free), the highest elevation we hiked over was 11,075ft. You can't get much closer to God than that now can you?

There is a stream very much like this one, right near the cabin, and we've walked/hiked past this very stream on previous visits.



We kept waiting and hoping to see the moose that are often seen in the area, but alas we weren't so lucky. We did see one deer though, off in the distance. The Monday and Tuesday we were up there were gorgeous ... clear sunshiny days. Positive Post Tuesday found me hiking past the lake above - what a day. Wednesday brought a full day of rain and great appreciation for our efforts of installing the new wood stove on Monday. Thursday morning brought more rain - we packed up and headed back to civilization (Laramie, WY). My husband went back up to the cabin with his Dad and found snow covering the ground. It seems we made a good call to come down from the mountains. But that's my Positive Post for this week!

Life Is Good

No Wasted Seeds

Funny how you can recognize a theme, even if you're not really paying attention. And yet, in this I am paying attention. When I went to visit my sister, I listened to my ipod on the plane. I started a journal at that point, because I heard the message that the music, that God, was repeating over and over. I wasn't paying attention then, but when I did notice, I sat up and paid attention. The message then was that I needed to surrender my life - I heard that message in song after song. And I have.

Now - and now I am paying attention, and what is the new message that I'm hearing/seeing/reading? It's all about seeds, planting and growth. My very first post was the Parable of the Sower - where I posted about people (me) being in different places at different times. I suggested that many seed was wasted on me when I wasn't ready. Ahhh, but no, I am seeing different now.

In my devotional yesterday, the title was "God Planted A Garden ... There He Put The Man Whom He Had Formed." And yesterday I listened to a sermon from Crosswinds, and my takeaway that is relevant to this post, is a message from Genesis. We were created from earth, created for His purpose. My devotional this morning is a continuation from yesterday, titled the same. Here is a quote: ... God's got some stuff planted that you haven't seen or experienced. You're still becoming what He planted" Four instances, same subject. Earth, soil, seeds, growth.

I love hearing, recognizing and understanding what is being shown. You're not the same person you'll be in six months, or six years from now ... You have to have faith, and patience otherwise you'll miss what God has for you.So all those seeds, maybe not so wasted eh?

I Found It!

Wow - I went looking for the "Life Soundtrack" list of favorites and I found it. It only covers the past 10 years or so, although there are a couple of songs from further back. The favorites list is so old though, most of the links are dead now. Oh well, I can always find them again:



The meanings of some songs change with time too. Here's my list and the era from my life for which they are relevant:
Chuck's Songs
Kenny Logins - Danny's Song When we had Josh, this was relevant

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one
And we've just begun, I think I'm gonna have a son ...
And even though we ain't got money
I'm so in love with ya honey
Everything bring a chain of lo-o-o-o-ve

Crosby Stills Nash and Young - Our House When we moved into our house, although we only had one cat

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house.
With two cats in the yard,
Life used to be so hard,
Now everything is easy 'cause of you.

We really had been in love. Before everything fell apart.

Sarah McLachlan - Angel Everytime I hear this, I think of Chuck

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

Sarah McLachlan - I Will Remember You and again

And I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

Peter Gabriel - I Grieve Wow, can't even explain this one, you'll have to read the lyrics yourself because it's the whole song.

Mark's songs
Andrew Gold - Thank You for Being A Friend - This one was his during the years before Chuck died.
Alanis Morrisette - Head Over Feet - This one was and is always Mark's song

You've already won me over in spite of me

And now this post gets cut short because it is so long already and I'll continue with the rest of Mark's songs ...

is it just me?

Have you noticed that music is a powerful mood enhancer? I can listen to music and get pumped up and happy over it - or I can listen to music and it will bring me down into the pits. I think it does depend somewhat on the mood to begin with. If the mood is upbeat and cheerful, cheerful and upbeat music only enhances that feeling. If you're already crabby, irritated and annoyed, depressing music can really push you deeper.

That being said, I can be in a foul mood, and if I listen to upbeat music, my mood can be transformed. Somehow (thankfully) it doesn't seem to work in reverse.

Just looking over my iTunes, let's take a look at what I have, and I'll tell you what era from my life it reminds me of (taking into account that most of the music in my iTunes is recent, because all my Cd's were stolen so I am rebuilding)

Simon & Garfunkel They can bring me back to Junior High, further too but most specifically 8th grade. I am a Rock reminds me of listening to the song over and over again, using the lyrics to build myself up a protective wall.

I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

In 8th grade, we had moved from Laramie to Portland OR, where I had no friends and needed the strength of believing I didn't need friends. HA foolish girl.

From Tenth grade but we lived in Laramie. Pink Floyd The Wall. I listened to this with head phones on. Pretty much the whole album, nothing to quote, except that I was breaking through the wall.

Bryan Adams Cuts Like a Knife - He came along at a turning point in my life, just about the time that I was breaking up with Mark and moving out on my own.

Dire Straits Brothers in Arms - This album was new out when Chuck and I were packing up to move on to Graduate school ... the song Why Worry was what Chuck kept telling me

I'll chase away those restless fears
That turn your blue skies into grey
Why worry, there should be laughter after the pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now

I could continue this, and maybe I will, because music moves me. Always has. I have music from every era in my life. At one time I had a "favorite places" saved as "My life Sound Track." ... should go dig that up, I know I have it on a DVD backup somewhere.