Today I'm writing about my mother-in-law. I've got two mothers-in-law actually. Lois is Chuck's mom, and over the past nearly nine years since he died, my love for her has done nothing but grow. I went over to her house Sunday night for a quick visit, and three and a half hours later I finally went home for bed.
This Sunday will be the ninth anniversary of Chuck's car accident. I've been doing pretty well with it. The Thursday before Thanksgiving was the anniversary of when he moved out of our home, and it didn't even dawn on me until after I'd gone to bed that night. I think it's weird how some years the anniversary doesn't upset me, other years it throws me for a loop. This year, I've been thrown for so many loops that this is just another one. I am extremely emotional all the time anyway, what's one more reason? At least this one's legit.
But anyway. Back to Lois. She was talking about a recent TIA (small stroke) she'd had, and how she's ready to go whenever the Good Lord takes her. She said she'd hate to have a major stroke and live impaired. Because I'm reading "The Purpose Driven Life," in a flash, a whole conversation went through my head. I used to work at an assisted living community, and many of my residents had had strokes, and were very impaired. But I realized there was a purpose for them surviving their strokes.
These people hadn't fulfilled their purpose in life. We all have many purposes, and one of theirs, in having survived a stroke, was that they allowed me to be caring and compassionate to them. God gave me that gift (and many other care givers) by allowing us to know and care for these incredible people.
I was never angry, or upset with God for taking Chuck. I thanked Him, for relieving Chuck of his pain and misery. That was the only purpose I knew or recognized. But now I have realized a greater purpose to losing Chuck. And in that brief flash of a moment
(because the thoughts went through my head in far less time that it took to type them out or for you to read them) while talking with Lois, I realized one of the greater purposes of Chuck's death.
His dieing allowed me to know his mom like I never did before. It allowed me to be there to comfort and love her like I never had before. And it brought me closer to God.I'm still learning about God's purpose for my life, and how I can best live that life. But loving others, is the core. I've got that much down.
