Weekend Brief ...

Yay! What a great weekend this has been. Yesterday I got to go rock climbing outside on real rock with my good friend Hans and Sheila!

Sheila and I have only been out three times this entire year. We took a weekend road trip to Owens River Gorge back in May (with Danny, Dave and David), then took a day trip to Indian Springs and then another weekend trip to Clark Canyon at the end of June.

The Clark Canyon trip was with our friend Joseph (who doesn't climb anymore because his knee hates life) but he goes for the fun of our company. My Alison and her friend Geoff joined us on that trip and we had a great time. But we haven't been out since then if you can believe that. (if you know me and my climbing, you'd know what a tragedy this is for me).

I've been so busy this summer going here there and everywhere other than climbing and have been looking forward to another trip to the Gorge with Sheila (and Joseph this time, Danny and Dave can't make it). Then climbing with Romy got me very excited about climbing again and I couldn't stand waiting for that next trip. So when on Thursday at the gym Hans suggested we go climb I leapt at the chance, and Sheila came too. YAY!

Climbing yesterday was with Hans, a friend that I haven't climbed with in over a year. It was really nice to catch up with him. After climbing, Hans had Mark and I over for dinner.

And then there has been today ... (in bullets?)

• Romy sent a link to pictures from our Tuolumne trip.
  
• Attended the 11am service of church and really enjoyed the sermon. After the service I went back to the "newcomers welcome" and met the associate pastor who runs a "Women of Excellence" bible study group out in my neighborhood. I am quite excited to start building my own community in faith.
  
• Then I went and met my friend Joseph. When he opened his door I announced "I need food, want to go with me?" So off we went for some delicious authentic mexican tacos at Beto's
• Off to Sierra Trading Post to buy something light yet warm for climbing in ...
  
• Off to REI to get a flashing red light for the back of my bike so I can ride to work without getting run off the road (at least they'll see me before they hit me right?)
  
• And now home to do some final organizing for NEXT WEEKEND where Joseph, Sheila and I will be heading back to the Gorge. YAY.
  

Life Carries On

Title to the song is I Grieve but Life Carries On should be a sub-title.

It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
There's nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
Is just the way that you were tied in
But there's no one home
I grieve...
for you
You leave...
Me
So hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
They say life carries on...
Carries on and on and on...
And on
The news that truly shocks
is the empty, empty page
While the final rattle rocks
Its empty, empty cage...
And I can't handle this
I grieve...
For you
You leave...
Me
Let it out and move on
Missing what's gone
They say life carries on...
They say life carries on and on...
And on
Life carries on in the people I meet
In every one that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on...
And on
Life carries on and on and on...
Life carries on and on and on...
And on
Life carries on and on and on...
Just the car that we ride in
The home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
And life carries on and on and on...
And on
Life carries on and on and on...
Did I dream this belief
Or did I believe this dream
Now I can find relief
I grieve...

Commenting On Fear

Brody Harper posted What's Your Fear and asked "So what’s yours? What’s one of your worst fears?" and my comment reply ended up far too long for a comment so I cut/paste it here and made it a post.

I've was widowed at age 35, and if I let the fear run away with me, I can break down in sobs worrying that it will happen again. I don't want to live through that grief again. But I pretty much know I will have too. On that note I would rather go first, and yet to go first means leaving Mark, and I honestly don't know how he would cope.

I had my kids to get me through the first time. My mantra was if I don't take care of myself, who will take care of my kids? My Alison was 8.5 years, and Josh was almost 13. That first year was most definitely the hardest year of my life. But, by the Grace of God, we made it

Even though I was not Christian at the time, I was very much aware that I was carried through that year by the Grace of God. God carried me. I think of that poem "Footprints In The Sand," and I know God carried me because so many people who loved me prayed on my behalf.


And knowing that, I'd rather Mark go first. I have God to carry me, Mark would be alone :-( and I really don't know how he would cope. He would have people who love him praying for him, and God would carry him, but I fear he wouldn't recognize or acknowledge that. He'd reject it. And he'd die. And we wouldn't be together.

I don't worry so much about my kids - well, that's only a partial truth. But they're adults (almost, Alison is 17) now. Kids are supposed to lose their parents first. Wow, losing my kids is another fear ... Boy. Let's stop this before I get further carried away!

Abundance Of Thanks

Today we are going to my Canadian girlfriends home for Thanksgiving. My initial question is still unanswered (because I'm an egotistical ignorant American?) about what do the Canadians give thanks?
But, I've decided that it really doesn't matter. I am taking this day, as all days should be, to give Thanks for all of the ABUNDANCE we have in our lives.

• I have Mark for my husband, who as my Alison reminded me recently loves me like no one else


• I have two beautiful children, Josh and Alison, both in their appearance and character


• I have both of my parents alive today


• I have Lois, my mother-in-law from my first marriage


• I have my in-laws, Ian and Brucie, from this marriage too, for which I am truly grateful.


• I have three beautiful daughters, Amber, Natalya and Alyssa, through Mark


• Albeit cluttered, dusty and not terribly clean, I have a warm house to shelter me from the coming cold weather


• I work for an incredible boss


• I have enough money to pay all my bills, and stash some away for vacations


• I have the cool car in the family

And the biggest, saved for last because it's greatest:

• I have GOD

There is so much more I could add, but this is my foundation.

I am making some vegan delightful Thanksgiving foods for Alison, because Sheila will have an over abundance of food for the rest of us.

Climbing With Romy

Ah..... I can't even begin to tell all about my trip. It was truly amazing. My thanks to AlpineDave for having great pictures of West Crack on DAFF Dome in Toulomne Meadows - Yosemite National Park.

Romy took a bunch of pictures but I'll have to wait for her to get back to Boston to get them from her. Then I'll post them.

There's one of me standing next to her at this belay just below the slot that spat me out like sour milk ... no pictures of that one since Romy was far above on belay.

We have pictures of us at the top of the route too, and she took some of me on the free rappel down ... completely awesome. Can't wait to post the pictures!

Yosemite

I want my picture taken here, at the top of Half Dome, Yosemite National Park:



These boys have grown a lot in the past 2 years since this picture was taken - but they've been to and climbed a route called Snake Dike on Half Dome two years before I have! I don't know that I'll actually climb Half Dome - but I know I'll climb something in Yosemite!

I'm heading out today with my girlfriend Romy for a 3 night trip to Yosemite for some rock climbing. Romy's coming in from Boston for a friends wedding the following weekend, and she's invited me to join her climbing. (and she just called me while I've been composing this post!) I am so excited I can't stand it! Think of me, and send warm thoughts cause it's gonna be cold!

Paying Attention (still)

Holy Cow. My morning devotional talked about the bible being the "Living Word" because certain scriptures come to life and take root within in you. You can hear what nobody else hears ... This morning, like most mornings I prayed and asked God to open my eyes to his Word in my day. But Holy Cow - I got smacked upside the head with this today.

In reading my blogs I've come across two that really were jaw dropping. After reading the first, I marked it to save, so I could come back later and think more on it. And then I came across the second one and just had to write about it now. What I read meant something to me that would mean nothing to someone else.
The first was My Utmost for His Highest ... The place for humiliation.. In this post the bit that jumped out at me was about being up on the mountain top.

"We see His glory on the mountain, but we never live for His glory there."

I had thought about this on my drive to work (read the blog at work, sorry Stoney)how when I was hiking in the mountains, how close to God I felt, and how I want that on a daily basis. The post went on

Look back at your own experience and you will find that until you learned who Jesus really was, you were a skillful skeptic about His power. When you were on the mountaintop you could believe anything, but what about when you were faced with the facts of the valley?

You were a skilled skeptic about His power. Yes I was, and now I am in the valley of humiliation.

Then I went and read Been Thinking About ... Are they afraid of us? and was again smacked in the head.This particular post hits home regarding Revelations ... precisely where I am on my journey. Revelations is what pushed me away from God so many years ago.

Is it possible that they just hear frightening noise if they don’t also see credible indications of the love of God? Can we fault them for assuming the worst? Can we blame them for thinking that the noise is part of a scare-tactic to get their name, their money, or even their lives?

Ah, thank you God for opening my eyes, allowing me to see.